The Most Glamorous Woman in Telenovela History

The year was 1992, and in what was to be superstar Thalía’s star-making role in María Mercedes, it was a sequined villain by the name Mística who stole the show and set a glamour bar that—except for Momma Elsa and the top 3 in Rupaul’s Drag Race, has not been yet been surpassed.

All Hail El Zonkey Show’s Google Query Queen

We’ve only mentioned her once—and kind of in passing—in our proposed Super Bowl XLV cheerleading squad, but since then the grace and natural beauty of actress and chanteuse Ninel Conde has managed to creep up and become our number one Google search term (with Momma Elsa galloping from behind).

Univision to Beat Bravo at Their Own ‘Real Housewives’ Game?

They might not have Camille Grammer’s naturally surprised face, Teresa Giudice’s stunning hairline  or a real live Countess, but Univision’s TeleFutura is kicking off a Real Housewives-esque series of their own.

El Chupacabras Mystery Solved!

Expert claims it was all just a case of mistaken identity. No, for real, an expert.

Sait It Ain’t So! Momma Elsa Off the Air?

Much like Bravo’s Andy Cohen, we here at El Zonkey Show though we were “incapable of loving” until one Momma Elsa Patton crossed our path.

Her Life Threatened, “La Tigresa del Oriente” Debuts 2 Videos, Plans to Open Travel Agency

Get ready for a double dose of AWESOME

The Gospel According to Momma Elsa

The Real Housewives of Miami’s Queen Mum dishes out words to live by