¡Feliz Día de la Candelaria!

So you enjoyed ourself a fresh slice of Walmart-brand rosca a few weeks back and though it was all fun and games when you got the plastic “monito” and that [along with a visit to your dentist to fix your chipped tooth] was the end of that, right?

Wrong.

Getting the monito is sort of like a type 2 diabetes-inducing Scarlet Letter that can only be lifted when today, the Día de la Candelaria you throw an insane tamales-themed get together for all the homies in the block…or else.

A Christian holiday traditionally celebrated on February 2, Candlemas is a joyous three-in-one festivity that commemorates the presentation of the child Jesus, His first visit to the Temple, and the Virgin Mary’s purification.

It’s celebrated by feasting on tamales, ferociously hunting down deadbeats who got monitos but play dumb by insisting they were not aware they had to throw a party; and apparently in Mexico, by frantic Project Runway-type races against the clock to outfit statues depicting the baby Jesus:

How’s about that fierce lil’ Jesús, huh? Christian Siriano, eat your heart out.

Featured image via.

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