Rejoice! La Tigresa del Oriente to Sing in English

It is a phenomenon happening far and wide, which the mainstream media has chosen not to talk about but a select group of Radio Shack employees are well aware of.

Nationwide, speakers are purposely blowing themselves out and in what appears to be thought-out instances of seppuku.

Now, after a months-long exhaustive investigation, El Zonkey Show has learned why.

Everyone’s favorite crazy cat lady, La Tigresa del Oriente is set to show the Rihanna’s and Madonna’s of the world how is done, and will now sing in English. This of course is not the first time the Andean chanteuse has sung in Shakespeare’s tongue. Late last year, she gave Britney Spears a run for her money with an A+ rendition of “…Baby One More Time.”

Behold the wonder that is sure to ignite many a dancefloor, New Brighter Day.

Its uplifting lyrics assure people they’re new, brighter days will “camz,” and something about a lump of coal thatnot even our crack team of Huitchol abuelita interns could decipher.  

Warning: It’s better appreciated in mute. Play at your own risk:

Featured image via.

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