Amidst Growing Canada/Mexico Diplomatic Turbulence, Petition is Launched in ‘The True North’ to Make ‘5 de Mayo’ a National Holiday

TORONTO, Ontario–When it comes to current Mexican diplomatic discord, mainstream media has been heavily focusing on Mexico’s tiff with France; but always one step ahead we here at El Zonkey Show have been busy shining the spotlight on the burgeoning troubles between Mexico and the so-called True North.

The latest development?

In a peacemaking effort, Mexico has deployed “sultry avocado ambassador” Miss Ava Cado (no for real, that’s her name) to Canuckistan in a mission to not only share the wonders of guacamole, but also take over their calendar militia-style by instilling Cinco de Mayo as a National Canadian holiday.  

“Cinco de Mayo is a fabulous day where friends and family gather to indulge in Mexico’s festive music, dancing, culture and of course delicious food, Ava declared, adding:  “I have made it my mission to tell everyone about the celebration and do everything in my power to make it a national holiday for all to enjoy!”

An apparent tabulation whiz, the spokesperson stated to be “thrilled” that 80% of Canadians are familiar with her “homeland’s delicious fruit,” while also sharing that 45% of them use Mexican avocados in guacamole, 27% of them use ’em in salads, and 24% eat it right out of the shell with a spoon. Savages! 

Señorita Savant also said that packed with nearly 20 essential nutrients, 64% of Canadians are aware of the avocados’ good fat content, but that a whopping 80% don’t know of its high fiber content. 

Her solution to get those Canucks regular? Launch a petition asking for 5 de Mayo to be declared a Canadaland holiday; the poll featured on her official website currently displaying an impressive 89% of votes (out of nine total) favoring the move.

To further convince people to jump on board, Miss Agua Cate has released the following video (note how ever the knower of international trends, she employs a sensuous faux Ukrainian hooker accent which is HUGE in the Ottawa lawmaker scene):


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: