Sait It Ain’t So! Momma Elsa Off the Air?

Much like Bravo’s Andy Cohen, we here at El Zonkey Show though we were “incapable of loving” until one Momma Elsa Patton crossed our path.

Elegance, grace and beauty all make a shocking halt upon her sight. She’s a self-proclaimed “witch,” flower stealer and enemy of hand sanitation. She is perfection, and starting next week an indelible memory given that the ultra-short 6 episode The Real Housewives of Miami comes to an end.  

[Almost] gone but not forgotten, we remember with a silicone-lipped grin her affinity for effeminate caballeros (“It’s naathing better looking than a macho men dressed like a girl.”) Her penchant for rocking nightgowns as dresses, as “most things” look good on her,;and her irrational fear of flying.

“I’m terrified of airplanes,” she confessed on last week’s show. “Likewise,” said a Boeing 747.   

Yes, like the ol’ adage goes: God never closes a Momma Elsa without opening a Lyn May, but today, today we cry striped tears of heartache.

Still the show must go on, and so we present this slideshow of vintage Momma Elsa. We can’t quite put our hoof on it, but she seems well…different.


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