Honorary Mexican: Presidential Edition


Proclaimed a federal holiday in 1971 by then President Richard Milhous Nixon and observed the third Monday of February, Presidents Day not only announces the advent of the GIANT Used Car Tent Sale, but also honors the memory and legacy of past commander-in-chief’s; so it’s fitting that we here at El Zonkey Show class it up a bit by bestowing upon John F. Kennedy the title of Honorary Mexican.  

Trumped by Jersey Shore‘s Snooki in our last edition (can you blame us?) on the 50th anniversary of his inauguration speech no less, JFK‘s side-parted bouffant today trumps Snooki’s poof as he enters our select hall of fame.

Achievements he had many, but he makes it into our pantheon because of the allegations of telenovela-like power struggles which surfaced in the book Marylin & JFK.

Written by French journalist François Forestier, the controversial tome states that the 35th President was a minute man who suffered from premature ejaculation, and dubs him “the Speedy Gonzales of eroticism.”

Not that it’s an entirely bad thing. Perhaps he had a penchant for wearing straw hats in the boudoir and asking for mustache rides;  perhaps he used pozole instead of lube. Who knows? The “zero fiction” book doesn’t go that far.  

So, here’s to you 35th! Wherever you are, may you be getting it ¡Arriba! ¡Abajo! and ¡Eight ways to Sunday!

Presidential seal image via Wikimedia Commons, Marylin et JKF by Albin Michel Press/Racist Rodent by Warner Bros.

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