Everything I know I learned from watching Telenovelas

No. 6

Attention expectant moms: if triplets are on the way, one of them will certainly be evil. It’s a fact.

According to a 2010 Norwegian study, the rate of triplet pregnancies is around two-and-a-half times higher than it was in the 1970’s. Translation= unsuspecting moms of triplets are two-and-a-half times more likely to be victims of matricide.

As to why exactly one of your lovable x³ kids will try to murder you, those fancy Scandinavian researches had no answers. Perhaps is the crazed effects of in-vitro fertilization, or having to fight to the [non-existent yet] teeth for womb real estate, who knows? One thing is for sure though, our striped Zonkey heart goes out to poor Kate Gosselin. God only knows what kind of torture those little monsters will subject her to.

Bellow is the opening theme to Televisa‘s 1995 production of Lazos de Amor, staring Lucero. Can you guess which is the wicked one? (Hint: they’re known for donning way too high for their own good ponytails).

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